Thursday, January 20, 2011

2. Frances May's Life

My very special and wonderful mother, Frances May, went to her heavenly home on January  16, 2011.  She was a special, talented, caring and funny person who was an angel.
  Mother's father, Robert A. Freeman was an attorney and Clerk of the Court for Surry County, North Carolina.  He died when she was a freshman in college.
Her mother, Bessie Willis Freeman was from Culpeper,VA.  She had a brother, Robert II,  and two sisters, Mary and Elizabeth. 
Mother grew up in the little town of Dobson, North Carolina.   The family home was started before the Civil War and finished after it ended in 1865.   As children, Anita, Phil and I always loved our yearly visits there and referred to this beautiful old dwelling as a mansion.
Mother was going to Meredith College in Raleigh, NC when she met Walker May, Jr.  They fell in love and got married less than a year after they met.  

What a brave soul she was to venture into the "hinterlands" of the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia to a place called Singers Glen.  Besides adjusting to a new location, she also had to adapt to moving into the house with Daddy's parents.  Uncle Bob and Aunt Ginny were also living there but moved out about a year later.

Not too many wives can say they lived with their mother-in-law their whole married life and never had a cross word.  This, to my mind, showed what a patient angel Mother was. 

I used to think we were poor because we lived upstairs and my grandparents lived downstairs -- we never had our own house.  Now I realize how rich we were to have four adults to give us attention, help with our "lessons" (homework) and teach us many skills and values, including the work ethic. 

Life on the farm was very much like the TV show called The Waltons, which was about an extended farm family near Charlottesville, VA.
 Ginny, Bob, Stashia, Patty, Bill, Walker, Sr., Ruth Bowman May, Frances, Walker, Jr., Mary, Anita, and Philip May at Grandaddy Eli Bowman's.   About 1955

Mother was a person who enjoyed her life and her role as a wife and Mother more than anything she did.  She was always proud of her husband and her three children.  

Oh, the adventures we did have as we worked on the farm and "played" as a family.  We always sat down together for our meals and supper would last a long time as we all shared our daily experiences.

 Mother said other parents would start looking forward to late August when their children would get out of their hair and go back to school.  Mother always said,  "Oh, no, you have to back to school already?"  We did have fun and enjoyed each other's company.

Mother was very active in our church and we always went to Sunday School and church as a family.  All three of us have a strong faith, go to church and try to live as God would want us to live.
Frances May, Sunday School Teacher
Mother sang in the choir for many years and sometimes sang with her family for worship service.
Another way Mother served at church was with the Election Day Dinner, which has been held every year since about 1950.  She cut the ever-popular pies.
 


After the baby, Philip, started school and as college time drew closer, Mother began teaching to bring some extra income. 
Frances May, (top row on right) Teacher at Singers Glen Elementary  This is the entire faculty (except for Jewel Shenk), staff and principal/teacher!  1968-69
 She also taught at Ottobine Elementary and Mt. Clinton Elementary.

This was our last photo of the whole family.

Unfortunately, my father died from bone cancer when he was only 62 years old.  Mother was never quite the same after he was gone.  She made it clear that she was looking forward to seeing him in heaven.  

By that time, my Aunt Mary Freeman was living in Greensboro, NC in a condo and Mother would spend the winters with her.  They took many trips together. 
Mother's favorite trip was to Hawaii.  Margaret was their neighbor in Dobson, NC as they grew up.  That is Aunt Mary to her right.  She also really enjoyed coming to visit me when I lived in San Juan, Puerto Rico.

   Mother loved using her computer.
She was given a computer at age 75 and insisted she'd never learn to use it.  I spent  time teaching her, writing down the steps for everything as we went.  She was always so proud of herself and enjoyed telling her friends that she emailed every day and even renewed her driver's license online.

Ed and I moved to Virginia in 2001 and the three of us got along really well.  It was a pleasure to include Mother when we went out to eat.  We took her to Florida with us one winter when we house-sat for a friend.
When Mother's health got worse in the spring of 2008, I became her caregiver.  In the meantime, Ed was diagnosed with lung cancer.   The fall of 2008, I was giving care to both Ed and Mother.  

My brother, Philip, decided that was too much.  He and I planned and prepared and somehow, much to the amazement of the nursing home staff in Harrisonburg, he got Mother to Texas into a nursing home near him.  He's a nurse anesthetist so his skills really came in handy as he worked with the doctors to tweak her meds and be sure she was well cared for.  

Phil and his wife, Maribeth, went to visit her almost every single day during her 2 year stay in Texas.  I admire and appreciate their dedication.
 The photo below was when Phil was stationed in the Philippines.
Maribeth had the idea to have me and my sister, Anita, come to Texas to celebrate Mother's 85th birthday, which was on July 15, 2010.  It was a fantastic week for us all.
 Fran, Levi (a junior at JMU), Maribeth and Phil May, Anita May Krull, Mary May Angelil

Here is example of Mother's thoughtfulness.  SHE gave US a gift on HER birthday.  We will always cherish our frames and the message speaks for itself.


I will always love you, Mother.  From your Firstborn

Frances May, a true and genuine Southern Lady.



 Please check back for more posts and pictures of Mother throughout her life.
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1 comment:

Beth said...

Mary, the photos you've included are wonderful, as is the narrative! I especially love the last photo of Fran at the bottom of this post.