My special friend, Marilyn Keating, died yesterday, on her 71st birthday, after suffering with cancer for some years. If you know Marilyn, you already know that she refused to acknowledge this cancer, preferring to fight it with positive thoughts. She succeeded for several years in that mode but finally agreed to have chemo in the last few years. Even then, she refused to allow the cancer to rule her life.
I first got to know Marilyn when I moved to Wilton Manors, Florida in 1979. She lived next door and recognized Alan Barrows (my first husband) from when she had taught with him at Dillard High School. She said she was the only female in the history department and Alan was the only one who was friendly to her. Who would have guessed what adventures Marilyn and I would share!
Marilyn was extremely intelligent and could do most anything. She was a teacher, a musician, a mother, a grandmother, a writer, a chef, a psychologist, fluent in Spanish and always open to new experiences. I'll never forget the day I knocked on her door asking if her "shingle" was out. I was so very troubled by issues with my problematic stepdaughter and she listened, let me cry and helped me through those issues and others for years.
In the early 1980s, Marilyn's brother-in-law was transferred to Harrisonburg, Virginia, to manage the Penny's store -- what are the chances that out of the whole USA, Jim and Ruth would be sent here? At that time, Alan and I had bought a summer house near my parents' house in Singers Glen, which is about 8 miles from Harrisonburg. Marilyn and Phil (her husband) came up to visit twice.
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Marilyn modestly declared she never entertained, but she did. In 1991 she had Mother and Aunt Mary to lunch when they were in town, along with her sister, Ruth, and me.
When Alan was diagnosed with Alzheimer's at age 55 and three years later, when it was determined that it was too dangerous for him to stay at home any longer, I met with my Bible study group. They helped me brainstorm about what I needed to do. For the next week, I dressed as if going to work each morning but instead went to Marilyn's house. She drove me around to look at various assisted living facilities and emotionally got me through the week. When Alan died in 2002, I stayed with Marilyn and she stood by me through the preparations and funeral at sea. What a friend!
Oh, yes, we also went through some enjoyable, some funny and some harrowing experiences with her ex-husband, but that would be another book. Let's just say I'd never called 911 until Marilyn's yard sale.....that was quite a day!
I felt so honored to be invited when she had Majory Stoneman Douglas (especially known for her book, The Everglades: River of Grass) speak at her class at FAU. Who else but Marilyn would have pulled off getting someone that famous and that old (she was about 100 at the time) to speak for a class she was taking? Marilyn picked her up in Miami, took her to the class, conducted a great interview with her and even took her out to dinner. As predicted by her secretary, Ms. Douglas had an adult beverage, much to Marilyn’s delight.
Only Marilyn would travel to Budapest for a summer to take a university course. At one point she had a Russian pen pal who invited her to come to her small town and live with her and her husband for a year. We were having a Russian couple speak at my church so I arranged for us to meet with them. They discouraged this trip explaining that the technology wasn’t to the point that she could keep in touch with her computer, the men drank themselves into oblivion daily and the living conditions were dismal. With the harsh climate, it was likely that Marilyn would get sick and the medical care and hospitals were deplorable. That was one journey I was glad Marilyn didn’t make.
Whenever I got sick, who was at my door with soup and other good food? Nurse Marilyn, who else? When I met Ed and started seeing him, who reminded me of all the things I should be observing? My honest friend, Marilyn. Who offered to edit and type my application for Teacher of the Year? You know who!
Going to lunch with Marilyn entailed more than just lunch...she always turned it into an enjoyable, educational field trip! We spent wonderful days at the art museum and other historic sites several times and she always came up with unique places to eat.
In 2009, we went to the Norman Rockwell exhibit at the art museum in downtown Ft. Lauderdale.
How glad I am that I had lunch with Marilyn in February 2011, in spite of a fall that morning and an ankle that turned out to be broken. There was Marilyn, the one with cancer, driving me and helping me hobble into the restaurant.
Marilyn was so proud of her daughter, Leslie, and Leslie’s amazing accomplishments. She adored her grandchildren and contributed greatly to their lives. She was a sister who cared deeply for her two brothers, John and David, and her sister, Ruth, and she was a helpful daughter to her parents, especially as they grew older. I always enjoyed hearing about all of Marilyn’s family.
Marilyn’s personality was a unique blend of intellectual curiosity, humor, loyalty and common sense. She was my faithful friend for over 30 years and I already miss her so much.
May you rest in peace, my dear and wonderful friend --- Modest, Marvelous and Magnificent Marilyn!
