Loving Her Was Easier

"Loving Her Was Easier":  This is THE most romantic song Ed used to say was for and about me. We didn't dance a lot but any time this played, we danced and he would softly sing to me. He was a very good singer, too! I'm glad I didn't remember this when I was planning his Celebration of Life last April because I would have totally lost it during the service.

Click one of these links to hear this beautiful song:  1. Loving Her Was Easy    2. Loving Her Was Easier Than.... 

Loving Her Was Easier (Than Anything I’ll Ever Do Again)   Kris Kristofferson

I have seen the morning burning golden on the mountains in the skies.
Achin' with the feelin' of the freedom of an eagle when she flies.
Turnin' on the world the way she smiled upon my soul as I lay dying.
Healin' as the colours in the sunshine and the shadows of her eyes.

Wakin' in the mornin' to the feelin' of her fingers on my skin.
Wipin' out the traces of the people and the places that I've been.
Teachin' me that yesterday was something that I never thought of trying.
Talkin' of tomorrow and the money, love and time we had to spend.

Comin' close together with a feelin' that I've never known before, in my time.
She ain't ashamed to be a woman, or afraid to be a friend.
I don't know the answer to the easy way she opened every door in my mind.
But dreamin' was as easy as believin' it was never gonna end.

And lovin' her was easier than anything I'll ever do again.

Ed used to tell me every day in some creative way how much he loved me.  Sometimes he'd leave me a post-it saying,  "Thanks for cleaning my bathroom sink."  Sometimes he'd send me an email, or write me a love letter, or just tell me WHY he loved me so much.  We hugged every single day.

How blessed I was to have been loved like that and I wish everyone could experience that same depth of love. 

A few of the key components for a meaningful relationship are being willing to give of yourself, compromising, affirming the good points in each other, accepting those "other points", being kind to each other, and laughing together.

That’s how it was with Edmond and MaryMay Angelil!  

Happy Valentine's Day, to my dear and wonderful Angel Man, who is now in heaven (probably arguing politics or shopping for a newer, faster computer) with lots of other angels.

Ed, the Shepherd 2001

By Mary May Barrows (Angelil)     Christmas Eve 2001 (soon after we moved from Florida to Virginia)

We are here in Virginia and somehow the days just roll by.  Ed keeps life interesting – it’s kind of like watching a whirling dervish when he enters the house.  His zest for life and enthusiasm are joyful to behold.

He was a very good Shepherd #1 for the Christmas Eve service.  He carried a torch pole with an orange cellophane torch.  For their first scene, shepherd #2 came in first and it became his job to herd the "sheep"   (a tiny girl of about 4 years dressed in what appeared to be a rabbit costume.  It took several minutes for me to figure out that she was a sheep.)   He had a tough time trying to get her to go up onto the stage and not into the aisle. 


For their second appearance, Shepherd #1 (Ed) entered first with the tiny sheep in front of him.  I almost giggled out loud as he tried to gently nudge her along with the pole of his torch.  Even with the sheep-herding problems, Ed spoke his 3 lines perfectly and projected his voice quite well.

Both scenes dealing with this tiny sheep quite resembled how things might go if you tried to herd cats!  (Only you "cat" people can truly understand this.)

When I asked Ed afterwards why he tried to guide her with the torch pole, he said they were told quite clearly backstage not to touch the children.  Even in this tiny town we have to think of legal ramifications! 

I was really proud of Shepherd #1 and even more pleased that he consented to do it.  A nice side benefit was that Shepherd #2 is a very successful real estate/construction man and Ed had great fun discussing heating systems with him.

Brunch and Scuba Club Board Party

Two of my dive buddies, Russ and Julie Manhold, encouraged me to come down to Ft. Lauderdale for the Board party of our scuba club, the Undersea Adventurers.

I can't drive more than about 15 miles without experiencing major muscle spasms (ye ole fibromyalgia again).  It worked out that my new friend, Norma Pennie, has a daughter who lives in Ft. Lauderdale.  So Norma drove us down for the day!

We met Ed's son, Steve, daughter-in-law, Lorraine, and grandson, Sean (8) for brunch.  Norma fit right in.  We had a delightful meal!  

Sean's "my boy"!  It was a special day a few years ago when I was promoted from Ms. Mary to Grandmother Mary.  After eating, we walked a few doors down, where I met Sean's karate instructor.

We spent the afternoon with Norma's daughter, Lisa.  Turned out she lived only five minutes from the party location!

I've been a member of the Undersea Adventurers Dive Club since 1980 and those friendships are still going strong. We have those friendships where we can go years without seeing each other, then start up a conversation as if we were together yesterday. 

Julie & Russ Manhold, Kathi & Steve McCutcheon, MaryMay Angelil

This was a great day for connecting with family, new friends, and long time friends.

Thankful for My Tapestry

This is my first Thanksgiving alone for many years and it does seem strange.  (Not to worry, friends have invited me to eat with them.)

As I reflect upon my life, the words from Carole King's haunting song, Tapestry, come to mind:  

"My life has been a tapestry of rich and royal hue
An everlasting vision of the ever changing view
A wondrous woven magic in bits of blue and gold
A tapestry to feel and see, impossible to hold."

How blessed I am to have had such an interesting life, filled with wonderful people and adventures.

I especially miss my Ed this year but my heart has been warmed as I've perused old photos.  I'm astonished at how many people in my photos are now in heaven!

In 2002, Ed and I moved to Virginia (my childhood home).  Uncle Bob May said at church,  "You all be ready on Tuesday and we'll pick you up.  The destination is a surprise."  We spent the whole day driving in West Virginia to see the fall leaves.  What a glorious day!

 

2004  We spent quite a few holidays at the home of Robert and Beth Foerster in Singers Glen. They also included Mother.  

 

When we were in Florida, we usually spent Thanksgiving with Ed's sister, Lorraine Barkett and her family.  This photo was in 2010.

 
I totally enjoyed the leisurely journey we took out West in our RV in 2009.  We had just learned that Ed had lung cancer so we really "seized the day" and savored every moment of our trip.

Yes, my tapestry is ever changing.  
 
Looking at old photos reminded me that I also had a rich life with my first husband, Alan Barrows.  

(Alan was a teacher and died from Early Alzheimer's.)

 

I learned to scuba dive while living in Puerto Rico (for 7 years).  When I moved to Ft. Lauderdale and met Alan, it worked out well that he also dived.  We were very active in the Undersea Adventurers' Dive Club.
 

 



Alan was known for his good sense of humor.  We won a prize at my faculty Halloween party in 1988.  My principal said,  "Any man with the guts to wear that costume deserves to win!"

There are so many other blessings, including my dear family and many, many supportive friends....I could go on for days.    

I continue, with God's help, to add to my rich and ever changing tapestry and I thank all who make my life worth living!   Happy Thanksgiving!

1999 One of our early Thanksgivings together.

Ed's Memorial "Stone"

It's hard to believe that six months have gone by since my Edmond went to heaven on April 23, 2012.  I still miss him every day.

Ed wanted part of his ashes scattered at sea and part of them in the cemetery in Singers Glen, Virginia beside where my ashes will be in the future.  The Neptune Society was most cooperative with this request.

Ed's memorial was a combination of ideas.  Rather than a headstone, there is a granite bench in his memory.

This view of the cemetery was taken while standing in front of our church, Donovan Memorial United Methodist. 

This is the view driving up to the cemetery.

 

I had thought about putting this memorial by my parents' stone but they're in the third row down and there was no open plot there.  

By luck (or Divine Intervention), there was one plot available at the top of the cemetery beside my grandparents.  I grew up in the house with both my parents and grandparents so it's meaningful that our plot is here.

The bench is three feet long and four inches thick.

The inscription on the side of the bench reads:  

"Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."   Matthew 11:28

(Click on photos for a larger version.)

The top of Ed's Memorial Bench

Sitting on Ed's bench looking Southeast

Looking East

Looking North

  Looking Northwest

  Looking West

The veteran's memorial plaque for Ed arrived after I had come back to Florida so I will be getting that set later.

Most of the plaques are at the foot of the plot so that is probably where we'll place it.

I notice that Ed's military papers used the American spelling of his middle name.  On his birth certificate (in French, of course) and Canadian passport it is spelled "Jean".   (He was still a Canadian citizen.)  Note:  Ed also served 2 years in the army in Canada. 

 

I think Ed is smiling down,...

...pleased with the simplicity of his memorial in this beautiful, peaceful setting in Singers Glen, Virginia.

Ten Years Ago

October 22, 2002

A Wedding Day Filled with Love... 

...a love that grew deeper with each day,

...a love that continues to sustain and comfort me.

The song "Because You Loved me" by Celine Dion came on the radio on the way home from church yesterday and it says so much.  Here are some excerpts that especially ring true:

For all those times you stood by me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby...

...You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach...

You gave me wings and made me fly
You touched my hand I could touch the sky....
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me

Maybe I don't know that much
But I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

You were always there for me
The tender wind that carried me
A light in the dark shining your love into my life
You've been my inspiration
Through the lies you were the truth
My world is a better place because of you.

I'm everything I am, because you loved me.

I will never forget you, my dear Angel Man, Edmond Jean Angelil!