A SAD, SAD Day

You may also find this post on Frances May's blog at http://howisfranmay.blogspot.com/

Thursday, July 31, 2008 was a very hard day for my sister, my brother, and me. Mother has been in the hospital for 3 weeks and this week had refused her meds, food, and liquids. Anita (from Ohio), Phil (from Texas), and I spend a lot of time by her bed and she was lucid some of the time. We all had a chance to talk to her and listen to her wise and loving words, although it was hard to understand her. She made it clear that she was ready to go and that she wanted to go” today”! She did not seem to be in pain but she was miserable and suffering. Anita asked her if she was afraid and she said she wasn’t. It really felt like she would go at any minute.

We met as a family and decided to stop all the meds and IV’s, except for her pain patch. The plan was to move her to the skilled nursing section of VMRC (Virginia Mennonite Retirement Community) the next morning and Hospice would be involved with her care there.

BUT……the puzzling and frustrating thing for her doctor was that her vitals were all good, her back Kyphoplasty worked and her back pain is gone, her kidneys are fine, etc. so physically, there was no reason for her to die. He attributed it to a deep depression and tried his best to encourage and motivate her, telling her that if she would try, she could be walking out of there one of these days. She didn’t respond. (Yes, he had put her on an anti-depressant.)